We can't give ourselves the full gift of dreaming and scheming if we don't first give ourselves the permission to dream and scheme. That comes first. There are so many reasons why this might feel uncomfortable or hard or impossible for us to do. So many of us have experienced 'the worst case scenario' in life. Horrible loss or experiences or trauma. When we know the shit can hit the fan, it's hard to let ourselves hope and dream again because, what if?
Don't we deserve the most out of this life experience of ours? Aren't we allowed to want more and better? Aren't we allowed to strive for highest and best? And if it's true that we are here to explore what that looks like for each of us, then isn't it also true that in order to do that we have to trust a little and dream a lot?
Can we dream for ourselves even if we are scared or worried or waiting for the other shoe to drop? Can we nurture ourselves through that sense of the worst case scenario 'what if' with a little best case scenario 'what if'? (Cause if we can do one, can we allow ourselves to do the other right?)
Let me tell you, it's no easy task, this I know.
My brain has always run toward catastrophizing and worst case scenario thinking and worrying. Strangely its a bit of a messed up love language for me. If I think of all the worst things that could happen then a) maybe they won't happen and b) maybe I can think about a reaction for each of them so we survive them.
And I know, truly I do, that this does nothing but create stress and anxiety over something that is usually not going to happen. And if it does happen, well then we deal with what comes up. We trust that we have the abilities, resources and supports to deal as best as we can. Living in worst case scenario land pulls us so far out of our potential and possibility. It's our brains' way of trying to keep us small and safe but really it only keeps us scared and checked out.
That's not living.
I, like you, have experienced the worst case scenario. I know that life can be shit and hard and horrible and scary. I also know it can be big and joyful and gorgeous and beautiful (and all the wonderfully mundane things in between). I'm also really tried of keeping myself in a space of fear and anxiety when there is no actual evidence of a horrible thing happening. This contributes exactly zero to my life.
That's wrong actually..it actively takes away from this life of mine.
Being proactive and responsible are cool.
Fear mongering and doom trolling myself is not cool.
Letting myself believe that I am worthy of dreaming what's possible for me is mega cool.
Giving myself permission to explore what's possible and all the things that could go right for me is epically cool.
Want to join me this month is a little less 'doom and gloom' and a little more 'maybe and let's see'? Maybe, even, a little 'could be and why not?'
Because the thing is, dreaming is a birthright. It's between you and yourself. No one can dictate or steal your dreams. Dreaming about and visualising our full potential and all of our possibilities allows us to consider our full magic.
So...shall we start dreaming and scheming? Yes! But how?!
A simple way to start is when a little 'worst -case' thought comes up, can you counter is a 'best case' (or start with a neutral case) thought.
Can you put aside 5 to 10 minutes in your day to let yourself dream up and visualise best case scenarios? Yes, for fun! why not?
We need to retrain our brains to think in a different way.
Here's more ideas for a 'Dreaming To-Do List':
Float and dive and swirl (rather than swim dedicated ‘laps’).
Go for a wander walk (rather than a ‘workout’ walk).
Free write whatever wants to come out (rather than answer certain journal prompts)
Listen to nature sounds with my eyes closed (rather than looking for the source).
Ask folks about their dreams (rather than their jobs).
Lie on the hammock and paddle board and just be (rather than reading to learn or see how far I can paddle).
Answer why not? When my brain say ‘you can’t’ (rather than accept it as truth).
Breathe deeply in a way that feels good (rather than follow an app).
Sip and eat slowly and mindfully (rather than consuming in way that’s rushed).
Say a heartfelt ‘no’ (rather than a resentful ‘yes’).
Do things just because they feel good (rather than everything needing to have a purpose).
Visualise a favourite day (rather than a productive day).
Visualise a best case scenario (rather than the worst).
Search out and notice the many tiny moments of joy (rather than wait for the big joyous things to happen).
Maybe these journal prompts will help a bit:
Do you let yourself dream and scheme?
Do you find yourself pulling back from fully diving in?
Where do you think that comes from?
Do you feel you are worthy of your dreams? Why or why not? If not you, who?
What permissions and supports might you need to allow yourself to do this?
Maybe the 7 of Cups can help?
The 7 of cups is all about letting ourselves consider all possibilities without having to make a choice (gasp!). It's about actively day dreaming and visualising all the possible things that could go right and all amazing choices you could have and then letting those percolate. It's about caretaking yourself in that dreaming and scheming space so that you can nurture the part of you that maybe needs a little comfort and TLC. It's reminding yourself that you can say yes to the yes things when they come up and also no to the no things when they want your attention. Yes things only. It's about trusting that you will know what these yes things are for you when they come up because you already dreamed up their possibility (or something like it).
No matter what your relationship is with dreaming, I hope you will let yourself explore it a bit over this month and maybe begin exploring a habit of countering your brain's dick-head behaviours with all your glorious possibilities and potentials.
Because...you are worthy of that. We all are.
If you need a little help with the dreaming and scheming things, this is one of my most favourite things when it comes to working and coaching with others. I'm the biggest cheerleader when it comes to other's letting themselves lean into exploring this and I'm learning to cheerlead myself in it a bit too.
Just a wee reminder that I will be away from July 10th until August 10th. I will be doing some check-ins and maintenance during that time but won't be doing any readings or taking on new coaching clients. If you are keen to work together, please get in touch and we can set it up for when I return to work. Lots of love to you!