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  • Writer's pictureJenny

Supporting Ourselves in Change

Well isn't this a massive topic to cover in one blog post? No biggie then. I am IN IT in terms of change and transition. I know so many of you are as well and really, when isn't change and transition happening? Change is life right? So let's get stuck into some change related coaching and Tarot supports.

The Background Stuff

At the end of this month I am leaving behind a teaching career of 20+ years. It's a big deal and also I'm so ready to move on. There are many reasons for this decision: It's not the job it once was, it's extremely taxing on empaths, I no longer have the capacity for the stuff that takes away from the actual teaching and supporting of children, I'm ready to move onto something that better uses my skill sets, I am 100% determined to support myself and my health in a more balanced way.

I recognise (and struggle with the fact) that I am beyond lucky to have the support of my husband to be able to make this transition. I know I couldn't do it without his support, both emotionally and financially (believe me, this was a tough pill to swallow for someone who appreciates her independence). It's a leap of faith in many ways and one that I am doing with both a nervous and anxious, as well as an open and hopeful, heart. I've been thinking a lot about how we honour transitions and times of big change. Teaching has giving me a lot, it has also taken a lot. I can honour the parts that were good and acknowledge the parts that were hard. I've met some of my closest friends teaching, I was able to move to Scotland and set my life up here with teaching, I was able to work with and support some incredible children during my 20 years and I developed a hugely varied set of skills during this 20 year career, skills that have and will serve me well with my coaching and Tarot role.

A wee aside: Let me tell you, teaching staff are some of the most skilled folks there are. If only we were allowed to believe that. I think if we truly knew how skilled we are, there would be quite the exodus of school staff leaving the say they are on their knees just now is an understatement. Under appreciated, undervalued and under resourced. Teaching staff...don't let being underapprecaited and stretched to the max tell you that you aren't worth much. You are a massively skilled bunch of folk and I love you a whole lot.

Some Coaching Stuff

Changing times can be exciting and scary and everything inbetween. Most of all, it can be exhausting. You are planning and organising and playing through scenarios constantly. Plus your routines and schedules are changing and there is the constant worry that maybe you are not making the right choice (enter our brains trying to keep us safe by being massive dickheads). There are many coaching hints that we can use to keep us grounded and centred when things are ending/beginning.

We can cultivate a space for quiet, gentle reflection. This can be a journal or free writing session, habit tracking, daily Tarot pulls or anything that allows us some time and space to feel and hear what's going on for us.

Regular scheduled time that gives us a moment for ourselves so we can check-in and put supports in place is hugely important. Morning routines, regular movement moments, weekly friend dates, walks in nature, therapy/coaching sessions, moon rituals, meditation, nightly knitting, anything that suits and supports us best. Prioritising this, even and especially in unknown times, is a wonderful way to keep connected to our core self.

Having a trusted partner/buddy who's perspective you trust and respect is also a great support during these times. My husband and I can give each other a rational and critical outside (but supportive) perspective that we may need when we are too 'in it' to be able to do that for ourselves. It's important to set boundaries about the type and delivery of the advice given. What suits you best?

Creating an anchor statement for ourselves can be a nice touch. Something that brings us back to ourselves when we feel like we are being whipped around by the changes coming our way. Some example of these could be:

I am someone who trusts that I have the tools and supports in place to support myself during times of change.

I am someone who is becoming more confident in my abilitty to give myself what I need to stay calm and centred during transitions.

When times are unknown I know I can rely on my morning routine to keep myself grounded.

I trust myself and my abilities when things are changing.

At the end of the day, if things become too much, take this as the permission you may need to down all the tools and give yourself a break. You don't have to do shit besides survive when the life whirlwind gets to be too much. Big Hugs if this is you. I have been there and one of the hardest things was letting myself release all the 'shoulds' and all the guilt.

Some Tarot Stuff

*The Tarot deck used is from Embroidered Tarot on Etsy

I would agree that the entire Tarot deck supports us in change. It takes us through the life, death, rebirth cycle. It keeps us mindful of and centred in the spiralic nature of life. Life is change and so Tarot is all about change.

This month I'm going to focus mostly on the ending/new beginnings of things. Because life is a spiral, the Tarot constantly reminds us that nothing ever truly ends. There is no end in our growth and expansion. When we are finished working through one cycle of growth, the next level is right around the corner for us to embark on.

With this in mind, I find a lot of comfort and support in looking at the expansion pairs. The universe (world) back to the Fool in the Major Arcana and all the Tens back to the Aces in the court cards.

The World comes at the end of the Major Arcana and indicates the completion of something major. Some major piece of inner work for ourselves. We have worked through all the majors in some way and have come to the end of that cycle in that way. That doesn't mean we are finished. It's never finished. We head back to the Fool for our next, uplevelled cycle of work. But the cool thing is that The Fool was with us the whole way; for each step along the path. The Fool reminds us that while we can't ever really know what's going to come our way, we can set ourselves up in a way that allows us to trust ourselves no matter what. That means getting to know ourselves at our core and getting to know our values, our best pace, our capacities, our seasonal of ebbs/flow, our best approaches and the resources that serve us best. The better we know ourselves the better we can move through our lives with self trust and self compassion. The World gives us a little indication around what works for us and what doesn't. We get to move into the next phase of things with a little bit more understanding of ourselves and our journey. We get to take what we learn and apply it to the next evolution.

And each of the Ten/Ace combos allows us to do that too but in a more specific way.

The journey through the Swords (air) is a journey around the relationships we have with our brains. Our brain chemistry and make up as well as the thoughts and beliefs that we hold. The Ten of Swords in a mini-Death card in that an old thought process or belief is dead and gone. We get to move forward armed with new knowledge and a new understanding of how we work best. We know many of these have been gifted to us by our families and society and aren't actually our true beliefs at all. Many are stories that we have been told about who we are and what we are here for. We get to question those at any and every point. Some we have an inkling that they just aren't true and some can be quite shocking when we discover them. The Swords have never been the most comfortable suit for me and that's because they are probably the one I'm entangled with the most. My biggest upgrades have come from my work in this suit. The fact that I'm doing this work in the way that I am is one of the biggest. The fact that I can and do claim my skill as a Tarot Reader is massive. My 12 year old self would be ecstatic, my 20 year old self would call me nuts and my 30 year old self would be incredulous and delighted. I bet you can pick out a ton of examples of this process that you've experienced over the years.

The Pentacles (earth) are how we nourish and caretake our plans, dreams, goals and life work; what we are here to do. In the Ace we plant a little sacred seed of something really special and important. As we work our way through to the Ten we are taking care and nurturing this seed. We are showing it devotion and attention and love and patience. The Ten is the culmination of that work and we get to celebrate our hard work and effort. And then? Well then the next phase is ready for our attention in the Ace again. These are the plans/ideas/path choices that we have put in place; intentionally and, more often, unintentionally. These are the things we discover about ourselves along the way and that we work to amplify. They are the big things like job training or parenting and they are the small things like daily practices and routines that build up the fabric of the lives we want to lead. This suit also reminds us of the mind/body balance and partnership (especially for those of us who can be more in our brains at times). What have been your Ace seeds that you have planted and that you nurtured and cared for along the way?

The Cups (water) suits is the journey we undertake with the emotional side of ourselves. This is big self-worth and self-appreciate work. This is learning to give ourselves what we need and to explore accepting , and maybe even, loving up all the parts of ourselves. When we reach the Ten in the cups we have a much deeper connection to who we are. We are able to better see that all of us is welcome and worthy. Maybe a thing we thought of as unworthy or something to be hidden away gets a little gentle and curious exploration. Maybe we learn that those things we were told to hold shame around aren't actually things to be shameful about at all. Maybe we learn that, in fact, there is no place for shame at all. When we get to the Ten we are have learned that cultivating more appreciation and JOY in our lives is our responsibility and we allow ourselves that work. Can you think of an aspect of yourself or way of being that you are more connected to within this theme?

The Wands (fire) are all about how we tend to our inner flame. This is about understanding our capacities, our needs, our pace and what fires us up. This suit is really about choosing to really understand ourselves and giving ourselves what we need. Really it's about choosing ourselves full stop. By the end of the Wands suit, we have developed all this understanding of how we work best. It's very 'I' focussed and the Ten reminds us that we can't 'do life' on our own. We were never meant to. We can't carry it all and do it all on our own (sorry fellow introverts). BUT who we choose to surround ourselves with is super important. We need like-minded and like-hearted folk who get us and get themsevels and can also see how we fit and work together. It's about knowing that we can build up and rely on an external AND internal community. That we alway have that option. When we get to the Ten of Wands in some aspect of our lives we are better able to understand how we tick, what supports serve us best, who we like learning from and sharing with and how we can let others come in to compliment us. Yes we need to be able to support ourselves best and when we learn to do that, we can better see where we are able to do that solo and where someone else's experiences and skill sets mesh with the areas we aren't as into or skilled in. Can you think of ways that you have learned to better serve and support yourself? Can you think of how your life has benefitted when you were able to allow someone else in to support?

Oft! It's a biggie this month but it feels like an important month for it. I hope that the coaching and Tarot hints and tips felt supportive for you and that you can give yourself a little ease and grace if you too are going through a time of transition.

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